The Adventures of Captain Aspie – Part 4: Sometimes, I am ashamed to be an Aspie – rape culture

I should state that differently… Sometimes I am ashamed to be a Male with Asperger’s.

As I have stated on several occasions – I frequent several boards dedicated to Autistic Spectrum Individuals. In more than one instance, threads on these boards have made me deeply ashamed to be male… and Aspie… Or just male…I don’t know… these people make me feel dirty and it is embarrassing to be in the same class of person as them. They are, at best, cromagnon beasts… At worst, they are upright dogs that are capable of human speech.

I’m not even kidding… Below are a couple of things that have been said:

Autistic girls (tongue)kissing? It would be awesome to see that, I would pay to see it.

Why do girls hate shy guys?
1) Shy guys don’t make them wet. Plain and simple.
2) Want to be protected. They can’t be bothered to do anything for themselves and don’t even know how to cook anymore and expect guys to work on their cars and fix their house while they simply exist and be empowered women by virtue of existing.
3) goes against gender norms and also signals low testosterone. girls want high t masculine guys who make them wet and make them feel safe.
4) The biggest problem with being a shy guy is you only meet extra friendly girls or should I say girls who throw themselves at everyone.
5) Girls don’t hate shy guys, unless they are also ugly and/or wimpy. Give them a shy, compliant “hot stud” and they will be overjoyed. Give them an ugly /wimpy guy and it won’t matter if he is shy or not, they will hate you for giving him to them.

I could go on, but I won’t… It only goes downhill from there…

It is all symptomatic of our rape culture. I’ve been trying to write about this for a long time, but have never found the words for it. Today, however, I found an article that really explains it well.

This article sums it all up… in a way that is powerful and accurate… read it HERE.

“Rape culture” is a culture in which sexual violence is considered the norm — in which people aren’t taught not to rape, but are taught not to be raped.”

“The defining narrative of rape culture is that a rape happens when a woman is randomly attacked by a stranger hiding in the bushes. And this happens. But it’s not the only way it happens, and that narrative can obscure the many other spaces where rape occurs.”

“Many conversations around rape are focused on preventative behavior, like telling women what not to do, what not to wear, or when not to go out. But this logic doesn’t place any responsibility on the perpetrators. The old metaphor is that women who dress provocatively are the same as homeowners who don’t lock their doors at night. But this argument only further reduces women to objects and asks them to be responsible for preventing their own rape.” 

With products such as the above ribbed anti-rape condom or hairy-legs stockings for women to wear at night, the message is that women should protect themselves — or in the case of the leggings, make women less sexually attractive to men — rather than “men, be careful to respect the personal and sexual boundaries of a woman.” 

 These four statements are only a small part of the article… But it gives you an idea…

I don’t have much to say about this except that it NEEDS TO STOP… We, as a culture and as a species need make a massive change… That is what I have to say… that and read this article and learn from it… stop being trash and treat people with respect.

Quotes from the following article were used in this piece – http://www.buzzfeed.com/ryanhatesthis/what-is-rape-culture

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4 thoughts on “The Adventures of Captain Aspie – Part 4: Sometimes, I am ashamed to be an Aspie – rape culture”

  1. Lady Aspie here, please here me out.

    We as women need to be responsible for ourselves. For our own survival. It makes no sense to expect anyone else, let alone a predator, to give a damn about us to keep us safe. Humans are at the top of the food chain, so by nature we a predatory creatures. No matter how much empowerment exists, men will always be the testosterone driven, stronger sex. That’s just biology. Yes, we have the higher cognitive function to understand right and wrong, however, we are still animals.

    Teach men not to rape…. how? You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make them drink. How many countless times do we see good parents try to raise children to be good people, only to find that those children grow up to be Hitler, or the likes of him? (yes i know, a little dramatic, but you get the point, I hope). People are bottom line, unpredictable. So that leads back to my initial statement:

    Women need to take their own lives in their OWN hands. That includes their safety. No, and I don’t mean not wear certain clothing. But, we can learn to be more situationally aware so we don’t get drunk in unfamiliar places with unfamiliar people. We can even try to learn some self defense so that we can be better equipped for attacks. I mean seriously, do researchers go into jungles or areas where there are known predators and not carry weapons with them as self defense? Why should we women be any different. I could go on about this, but I think I’d just be repeating myself. Predators in all forms will always exist, regardless of how they are raised. The question is, are we women going to o continue to make ourselves look like prey?

    1. I agree with you… BUT this amounts to victim blaming (and I ran this past several of my NT and autistic female friends). I have a penis, but I am not on the gender binary. 95% of the problems with this world are because of CIS white males… That being said… rape culture needs to end.

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