Sorry about not posting. I was dying after all

Sisterface is super-foxy – true story.

I am serious. I went to the Fondue Goddess’ house and the Sisterface had something. Something foul and evil. She had serious Kathleen Turner voice… Smoky, smoldering… hot… Of course, it helps that the Sisterface is already super-foxy… True story.


I left the Fondue Goddess’ house and went on my merry way. Meanwhile, the alien invader had hitched a ride in my sinuses. It took the next 24 hours to set up housekeeping. And it moved in with a vengeance. It was like my sinuses were prime real estate right between a sewage treatment facility and Ke$ha. I swear, my sinuses were Chateau du Mal Voisin… house of the bad Neighbor.

Then they opened up for business and my sinuses shut down. I do not exaggerate when I say, it was horrrrrrrrriiiiifffffiiiicccccc… My sinuses swelled shut, put pressure on my ears and eyes as well as evicting the stuff that should be there. Oh… and they started stabbing at my brain.


The general upshot of this was misery… The specifics of this are as follows:

  1. Putting pressure on the ears. This is unpleasant for many reasons. You know when you go swimming and your ears pop inward. It was uncomfortable and made it hard to hear? I spent a week like that. Oh, and since it was putting pressure on the ear canals, I was having problems with balance.
  2. The eye thing. Your eyes sit right above your nasal passages. When your sinuses are swollen, they push on your eyes. In some cases, you can actually get some… material crossover from sinus to eyes. Yes, I had snotty eyes and the back end of my nose was trying to evict my eyes. I felt like a pug. 
  3. I was drippy… ew.
  4. I don’t know why, but the noisy neighbors in my nose felt that my brain needed to be somewhere else… so they too small spears and started stabbing my brain… MY BRAIIIIIIIIINNNNNNN. This means head ache. Bad head ache… migraine level headache. 

Why am I telling you all of this? It’s to come to the real point. I could not sleep. I’m already an insomniac. The illness was trying to kill me with sleep deprivation. If you’ve never died of sleep deprivation, let me assure you. It is an unpleasant way to go… well that is until you start hallucinating.

Let me tell you something: When your 2 pound (tiny cat) starts talking to you like Isaac Hayes (that is to say, all deep and mellow-like) about the giant bunny that is living under the oven and what you ought to do about it (Her solution was a water-bazooka like affair… because… giant, stove dwelling bunnies don’t like water…?), you want the death to come sooner than later.

Then… it happened… me fever broke, I soaked my sheets in sweat… and started to get better. I still sound horrible, but I can breathe… I am better… Below is my me a day from the midst of being icky.

If you look real close, you can see my eyes falling out and my ears pulsing.


So, now I have survived and I have to go. I have to go reclaim all the stuff, like my TV, X-box, PS3 that I “bequeathed” to my friends since I was dying.

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