Today was a good day!

Bad Fan! Stand in the corner
til you’ve learned your lesson!

A couple months ago, the Fondue Goddess’ laptop started making a sound… it sounded, for all the world, like there was a cat inside the case, growling to be let out.

Immediately, she texted me saying, “My laptop is making a horrible sound!”

I, evidently, responded with the proper answer. (I have been advised that this was code for, “Oh noes! My laptop is broken! Please fix it!”) I told her I would check it out and see what the problem was…

When I arrived, she turned it on and it made the sound. If you are a computer person, you know the sound I am talking about… that asthmatic wheeze that tells you that you have a bad cooling fan.

It was a little while before a replacement part was located.

Then there was time before it could be bought… Money is a dumb concept. I will get more into that here in a moment… There was none to be had for a couple weeks.

It arrived last week.

I got over there tonight to fix it. Evidently, it was just in time, too. I am told that the laptop had to be tapped from time to time to get the fan spinning again, and that on a couple occasions, she actually had to verbally coax it along…

I am pleased to announce that (after about 10 minutes of research on how to get the g’damned keyboard lock plate off), the operation was a complete and utter success.

There was cheering. The Sisterface actually bent over and put her ear to the deck of the laptop to make sure the fan was running. There was rejoicing. There was a laptop computer running. It was quiet, happy… and COOL.

Yeah… bartering… like this!

SO… I was rewarded in Caffeine and Chinese Food! This was a good night.

I think the entire world should forgo the concept of money and get back to bartering.

I know… we’ve all gotten used to the concept of dollars and cents… the gold, silver, copper, plastic standard… But is it REALLY that good of an idea? I don’t think so.

Because of our current financial system, people are allowed and able to amass great amounts of wealth by doing nothing except moving money around. That doesn’t happen with the barter system. By moving goods around, you are a merchant and are ACTUALLY DOING WORK.

The barter system also means that most lazy people (i.e. Those people who have trust funds and have never worked for a dollar) won’t have much to trade till they get off their asses and do something…

Take The Fondue Goddess… she excels at making the melty cheesy goodness… I LIKE FONDUE. I want fondue. I do tech support, or carry out the litter box, or mop the floors or reach things on the tallest shelf… and she gives me molten cheesy goodness.

I have any number of talents that can be exploited for this… I make movies… You want entertainment… A loaf of bread, some milk, some beef… watch my movie! I meet your needs, you meet mine…

EVERYONE has a talent they can exploit for barter…

Dancing in your underwear… EPIC WIN!

Lifting things
moving things
growing things
tech support
dancing around in your underwear

Wait… that’s not right.

Or maybe it totally is… I mean look at him over there! He’s just so happy!

Recent studies have shown that consumerism makes people depressed and anti social… don’t believe me? Well tough! BAM! (CITATION PROVIDED!!! MWAHAHA!!!)

One of the main ways to avoid these effects is to avoid TV… No, not the content, but the advertising… Buffy  the Vampire slayer doesn’t lead to depression… the only thing that leads to is the desire to have Alyson Hannigan wrap her legs around…

Wait… what was I talking about again?

OH! RIGHT! Consumerism.

I mean… I understand why they invented money… one day somebody told a guy that the bread he wanted was worth a chicken, and the smallest thing he had with him was a cow… and no one could make change for the cow… The problem wasn’t so much that they couldn’t make change, but the exchange rate… I mean, it was 4 chickens for every goat, 6 goats for a horse, but there was no rate for goats to cow or cow to horse… so what do you do?

Of course! YOU INVENT MONEY! And commercialism, capitalism and consumerism… I am pretty sure that all isms are bad, when you get down to their roots.

But consumerism is one of the worst. It literally makes you distrustful, calloused and antisocial. So… let’s get away from the money thing and get into the barter thing…


What’s Freecycling??? ARE YOU KIDDING? You get stuff for free… you give stuff for free… IT’S AWESOME!!! (LEARN MORE HERE!)

Yeah. Barter is kind of like this…

I forgot where I was going with this, really… I got Mountain Dew and Broccoli Beef… it’s a good day!

Images in this issue were SHAMELESSLY stolen from the following sources:

Follow me on social media... You know you want to!

Leave a Reply