An open letter to the guy who was an asshat at my callbacks today

Dear Sir,

I am not sure what happened today, but I feel that I need to address something.

This is my baby! Project Z!
watch it at www.blip.tv/projectz

Late last night, you sent an audition request for one of the episodes we are shooting in our Project Z Series. As an act of kindness, we did not force you to rush around and make an audition tape since the call backs (2nd auditions were this morning, less than 10 hours later); instead, we allowed you to come straight to callbacks.

When you were given a free ride into callbacks without doing any of the other things that the other actors had to do, you were given a gift.

I will apologize for the fact that we cast the part before he got to audition. That happens. It happened LITERALLY, moments before we called you in.

However, our company operates on a platform of complete and open honesty. I gave you that information and was ready to have you read that part for consideration for any of a number of other parts that we were casting today.

I would like to thank you for your reaction to me at this moment. You went a long way towards renewing my faith in humanity. That is to say: you reminded me of why I label myself as a misanthrope. If you are not familiar with the word, Webster’s collegiate dictionary defines it as “a hater of humankind.”

Seriously… This is true!

When you got angry and told me that “I wish someone would have told me before I wasted my time driving from Baton Rouge!” you were telling me a couple things about your attitude.

  1. You have a super inflated sense of self worth.
  2. You are an self-entitled asshat.
  3. You have NO RESPECT for myself, my associates, our work, or the people you will be working with.
When I tried to tell you that we had many parts we are casting for, and you interrupted me with wave of your hand to tell me “I prepared for this and drove all the way here.” you told me a little more about your approach.
  1. You, without an IMDB listing, feel that you can dictate what we will do.
  2. You feel that by stamping your feet and throwing a temper tantrum, you can affect my decision making process.
  3. You have no idea how much hard work we put into what we do.
  4. You have NO RESPECT for myself, my associates, our work, or the people you will be working with.
When I offered to let you read your already prepared material and use that to cast for a different part and you responded by turning your back to me, waving your hands in the air, rolling your eyes, saying “Ya know what? I’m not even interested anymore.” and obnoxiously walking away WHILE I WAS STILL TALKING; you told me one thing about yourself.
  • you, sir… are a douche-bag

Let me share a fact of the casting process with you. No matter what you audition for, you are under consideration for every part we are casting that day. It doesn’t matter what part you want… when you come in for a callback, as a casting director, I am going to put you where I damn well see fit. 
Seriously. If you are an actor auditioning for ANY film and you don’t have any MAJOR film credits to your name (and I’m not talking about a one line scene in a major film… I mean a MAJOR ROLE in a MAJOR FILM), we are going to put you where we want you. You CANNOT dictate what will offer you. 
You can audition, and then you have two options.
  1. accept the role.
  2. reject the role.
That’s it. That’s all. There is no third option.
So, sir, I feel it necessary to point out that the film making wold is a community. Based on this blog post, I will be asked who I am addressing. I will be asked this by a large number of other casting people and film makers in our area. 
I couldn’t find a “Stay the fuck
in Baton Rouge” picture!

Normally – it is my personal policy to not answer that question. In your case… I am going to make an exception. You pissed me off that much. 

In closing – get off your high horse; know your place; learn some humility and go do something relatively anatomically vulgar and impossible with yourself; and stay the fuck in Baton Rouge.
Kriss Hoffman
Writer, Producer, Director
Savage Light Studios
Images in this issue SHAMELESSLY stolen from the following sources:
Ego T-Shirt
Groundhog’s Lawn!

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