Here it is! Platform time!

Okay, I promised you a platform statement and here it is.

First, I am going to make some declarations. These are things that either a) you, as the american people need to know. -or- b) things that might come out in a negative light as a result of my campaign. I figure, since I believe in honesty, I might as well put this stuff out there for everyone to look at.

I could not find any image related to declarations. So I went
with Eclair! French for lighting! Go ahead – Gossip… This
candidate knows some french!

1) I like sex. A lot. Chances are, if during the course of my campaign, someone comes forward and said I had sex with them… I probably did. If (by some miracle) I am elected, and an intern, aid, hippie, lawyer, attractive woman or any combination of the above (woman being the key word here) approaches me for sex… I am probably going to do it. Rest assured that I won’t be sharing her identity. That is a private matter. I also will be having them sign a waiver stating that it was consensual.

2) I have Asperger’s Syndrome. That’s right, I am on the autistic spectrum. This has a couple additional points that need to be addressed, as there are quite a few myths about autism.

  • I am nothing like rain man. This is an offensive stereotype that needs to be battled on all fronts. We’re as different from each other as normal people are.
  • Autistic people do have feelings and do love. Our emotions run as deep as yours… Sometimes we can only express them through idiosyncratic ways. Further, we tend to be far more empathetic than the average person due to the fact that we’re pattern seeking machines.
  • We can, and do, build lasting relationships. Contrary to popular belief, autistic people often marry and have satisfying romantic relationships.
  • Autistic people are not a danger to society. There are many who have issues when frustrated or suffering from physical or sensory overloads. I like to point out that most of the violent crime in the world is not the result of Autistic Spectrum individuals, but instead those that are considered “Normal” by all diagnostic criteria.
  • Not all of us are savants. I wish I were a savant. Alas, I have to work as hard as the next guy to learn any new skill… and I don’t perform most skills with any real expertise. (unless you count fighting video games, but who does?)
  • Autistic people can, and do have language skills. Ironically enough, most of the people that have language skill issues (that I have seen) are neurotypical… They are normal, but have been left to learn their language skills from “The Jersey Shore.”
  • Many people feel that Autistic spectrum individuals are not capable of doing anything. On the contrary, we can. We can truly achieve greatness. I am an award winning director, I have many lifelong friends and I’m running for president!
3) I don’t like politicians. I think that the main issue with this country is politicians. 
4) I don’t claim to know everything. Unlike politicians, when I don’t know something, I will tell you. I’m not going to try to BS and spout a lot of nonsense. I will be up front and honest and say, “I don’t know. Give me a couple days, and I will look into it.”
5) I have ideas for change that will make the United States of America (in my honest opinion) a better place. I know these will not make me a popular person, but I’ve never been popular. If I can make one person’s life better, then I will have succeeded. 
6) I am not christian. I was raised in an severely christian environment, and the hatred that is spread via that religion is nauseating. That does not mean that I have anything against christians themselves. There is no discrimination here – each person will be judged on their OWN behavior and merits.
7) No. I will not talk about my religion. What you need to know is that I am a rational person that found a relationship with what I personally refer to as “the divine.” 
I believe in science. If science contradicts what religion has to say, then religion is wrong. 
8) Hatred has no place in the modern world. Suck it up and grow up.
9) I admit it… When I was young, I tried all the drugs. I tried them all. (except ketamine). I found that I didn’t like them. Unlike politicians that claim they “didn’t inhale” – I did inhale. I can truly say, I didn’t enjoy it. It might be the Asperger’s, it might be something else, but I don’t like the disconnected feeling that drugs and alcohol give me. I will admit this as well… if I enjoyed it, I’d be admitting that I am a pothead or some such thing. 
10) Many people spit the word “Socialist” like it is a curse word. This country is built on some social concepts. Public education, public roads, police and fire departments, hospitals, a publicly maintained military… These are all socialist programs. If you don’t like socialist things, stop using them. 
This is my platform. There are many like it,
but this one is mine!
Now for my platform.
As I stated before, I have a lot of ideas for change. In this platform statement, I am going to outline them and why. I welcome questions to and about my platform… These questions allow me a chance to examine what I think and feel, and evolve (That’s right… evolution… I said it!) my understanding of the issues..
1) Gender Equality: I believe that traditional gender roles have been eschewed in our culture. Women have proven that they are as capable as men. The old song “Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better” is completely accurate. A person should not be judged based on their primary and secondary sexual characteristics, but instead on their accomplishments and contributions to society, the workplace and their community. This sounds like a simple statement, but it is much more complex than you can imagine. I am not just talking men and women, but men, women, gender-queer, transgendered and gender neutral individuals. Equality is also a complex issue, but it is something that needs to be striven for.What are these issues of equality? I will be honest, I don’t know… yet… I am approaching some individuals that fit into the categories above and ASKING them… All I know is that people are people and should be treated as such.
2) Legalization of Victimless Crimes: Victimless crimes are things that are illegal, but don’t hurt anyone. There is a relatively short list, but they have a massive impact on our culture and economy. The resources wasted in the pursuits of these “criminals” is a drain on our economy and should be eliminated. Here is a list of victimless crimes (this is in no way all inclusive and should not be be viewed as such).
  • BASE Jumping from publically owned structures
  • The individual purchase and use of recreational drugs
  • Prostitution and/or soliciting for prostitution
  • The consumption of pornography (not involving children or coercion)
  • Unlicensed prizefights and similar activities of a sporting nature where the players consent and the audience actively approves of what they see
  • Assisting someone to die at his or her request
The following restrictions apply. A crime cannot be considered victimless if it includes any of the following. 
  • Animals
  • Children (normally measured as being under the legal age of consent)
  • Severely mentally ill
  • A person not fully informed about the issues involved
  • A person suffering from mood swings
  • A person acting under duress
  • A person who is addicted in a way that would be influenced by the activities involved, intoxicated, or unconscious
If the crime doesn’t harm anyone, it should not be a crime. That being said, if a secondary crime is committed during one of these activities, the penalties should be the maximum by law. (i.e. If someone has engaged in drug use and decides to drive or commit a robbery, they should receive maximum punishment for the secondary crime).
3) A True Flat Tax: Across the board, everyone get’s taxed the same amount. EVERYONE. I don’t know the percentages yet, because I am still doing research, but I want to say that 15% is probably an accurate percentage (This is going to change when I finish my research). The days of the poor paying a higher amount than the rich need to end. EVERYONE should pay their fair share. The government of the United States of America is in a state of insolvency, and the only way to solve this is to take in the amount of income needed. The only way to take in the appropriate amount of revenue can be generated is to tax appropriately. The salient points of this tax plan are as follows.
  • Everyone taxed the same amount
  • No loopholes. No one gets discounts.
  • No refunds. Since there is no complex math, exemptions and the like, there is no “over paying” to refund. 
  • This includes all income. (i.e. rental properties, holdings, etc.)
  • Children are excluded. There is no taxation without representation. If you cannot vote – you cannot be taxed because there is no representative for your vote. 
  • Retirement funds are not income. You put the money aside as you were working, and that was taxed. You should not be penalized for thinking ahead. 
4) Revocation of Corporate Personhood: Corporations are not people. They should not be treated as such. 
5) Return American Jobs to American Soil: American companies have been exporting jobs to locations outside the borders of the United States for years. Our economy is suffering because of it. Solutions have been rebates and tax shelters, but those have not worked. As a result, our economy is suffering as American money is pouring out into the world, our work force is diminished due to lack of jobs and the quality of goods has fallen. In an effort to boost the American Economy, the jobs need to come home. To combat this, I propose the following: Any goods coming into the country should be subjected to import tariffs. If it is more expensive for companies to produce their goods elsewhere and bring them home (the largest consumer economy in the world), they will be forced to produce goods on American soil. Jobs on American soil help reduce unemployment. They help keep American money in America. 
Yeah. This stuff here. 
6) Production of Cannabis: Legalization of victimless crimes is one step in a wide spread plan to balance jobs. By legalizing cannabis, we relieve the government efforts to control cannabis and other drugs in foreing countries. We eliminate the violence associated with it in our country and the prison over crowding associated with the drug trade. I propose pot farms in the United States. That’s right… government run pot farms. 
Marijuana is a major cash crop. By legalizing it and growing it on government run farms, jobs are created. By governmental control, minimum quality is assured. The government licenses distributors. The marijuana grown is subjected to a luxury tax, thereby generating more revenue. Cannabis can be grown in all parts of the country, thus requiring no relocation of workers. 
7) Environmental Issues: First off, there are roughly 50k commercial uses for Cannabis. It is a renewable resource. 
We, as a country, need to sever our dependency on foreign products and materials. The oil and petroleum industry is a blight on this country. By embracing renewable resources (including solar, wind, hydro and cannabis) we can free ourselves from dependency on foreign powers.
8) Product Taxes: Consistent taxation on products. Governmental taxation of products is inconsistent at best. This needs to stop. 
One example of this is cigarettes versus cigars. Cigarettes are taxed over a dollar a pack in the united states, but cigars are not. Why is that? Because the people who make the laws smoke cigars and would do nothing to inconvenience themselves. As such, I propose equal taxation for similar products. 
9) Term Limits for our Legislative Branch: As our country evolves socially, economically and technologically, out government should do the same. The current lawmakers are out of touch with the people. With the current consciousness and beliefs of out country, we need lawmakers who share the beliefs of the population. 
10) Removal of American Armed Forces from Foreign Soil: In most cases, we have no business in other countries. I know this is an unpopular statement, but American meddling on foreign soil has precipitated hostile action from terrorists and others. This needs to stop. “Protecting American oil interests” is not a valid reason. 
11) Abolishment of the Electoral College: The electoral college made sense when you were voting for someone from your area. You were telling someone you knew and could trust – “Tell them we vote this way.” Now that we have instant communications, it doesn’t make sense… It wastes time and tax payer money as well as negating a portion of the population’s votes. The electoral college presents the following risks.
  • the possibility of electing a minority president (a different candidate than the popular vote demands)
  • faithless electors (Electors who do not vote the way they said they will)
  • depression of voter turnout
  • failure to reflect the popular will
12) Mandatory Jail Time for Corrupt Politicians and Bankers: Starting in 2011, Iceland, when their economy was on the verge of collapse, jailed the corrupt bankers responsible for the crisis. In the year since that happened, their economy has made a stunning recovery. According to everyone I have spoken to, corrupt politicians and bankers are why this country is in ruin. I agree. Betrayal of the public trust should be punished… by jail time. 
I support this agenda.
13) Gay rights: I feel strongly on this. Love is love, no matter who it is between. People of other sexual orientations have the same rights, intrinsically, that everyone else does. They’ve been using the term “Gay Rights” for years. Now it’s time to live up to it. I have news for you… It’s not an infringement of your rights that someone else gets to do something that you get to do. It’s called equality. Will a gay couple getting married effect you in any way? No? Then it’s not impinging on your rights in anyway.

As a secondary effect, this will boost the economy. As it stands, marriage is a multi-billion dollar business. According to recent studies, roughly 10% of our population is gay. This is a statistically significant portion of our population that will pour money into this business.

14) Copyright Law: I intend to return the laws of copyright to the intentions of the founding fathers. A creator, when creating something, had 14 years in which to profit from his creation. At the end of that time, (s)he could apply for a second 14 year term on copyright. By this time, the creation was either a) successful and had become a part of our social awareness (i.e. public domain) or b) had failed and would not net the creator any income anyway. I am in favor of this. While this goes hand in hand with the concept of denying corporate personhood, it is a distinct and separate issue.

I am loathe to make campaign promises, but I have two.

1) If I am elected, in my first day in office, everyone of these campaign platform points (within my power to do so) will be signed into law as a Presidential Order. There are some (copyright and elimination of the electoral college come to mind immediately) that are part of the constitution and beyond the reach of the president to just waive his magic wand. HOWEVER, those that fall under that category will be part of a presidential order to put these laws into congress IMMEDIATELY. I will constantly push for these issues to be ratified and modified as per my platform.

2) If I am elected and any of my first day presidential orders is vetoed, I will take notes of every congressman whose name is on those vetoes. I will make it a point to exercise my right of presidential veto on EVERY bill that comes across my desk with their names on it for the first year of my term. Politics is a game of give and take. Unfortunately, what is given is corruption and what is taken is dignity, respect and honor. Absolute responses to absolute circumstances.

Images in this issue SHAMELESSLY stolen from the following sources

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